Pokemon
by 411-Get-A-Life
Summary: Rated T for lots of cussing! Yay, cusssing! No pairings, the whole fic's just kinda stupid,  but its just for a laugh. I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTINUE IT! Each chapter is like a story by itself, each is its own random little plot!
1. Pokemon

**Disclaimer: Whatever. I don't own this band or the concept of Pokemon. But if I did, this would so be how they really got Noodle. **

**K. So it's fucking 1 in the morning, my damn sleeping pills aren't working, so of course my thoughts are going to be a bit stupid. I was just thinking about Gorillaz, and how much Noodle likes Pokemon, and when Noodle first came the only thing she could say was, "Noodle." I just thought, "oh...so she's a pokemon then?" Thus. This was born. If you don't really watch pokemon, then you won't really get this, now will you?

* * *

**

"The last time we saw Gorillaz, they had just sent out an ad in the paper for a guitarist. Now we join them again in Kong Studios to see how this damn thing unfolds." 

Murdoc, a pervy tanned Satanist who enjoyed ahem, breeding, woke up to the doorbell of Kong Studios. Which was weird because he didn't even know Kong had a doorbell let alone could he have heard it all the way in the carpark where his Winnebago usually was. He had a horrible hangover, probably from whatever-the-fuck happened last night, and it wasn't helping that whoever this bloke was, they were ringing the bell over and over again. Murdoc groaned, reminding himself to yell at 2D to get rid of the doorbell. He crawled out of his disgusting smelling bed, pushing the whore to the floor. The blond ditz whined in pain, which resulted in her being stepped on. Later Murdoc wondered why he wore his boots to bed.

Murdoc yelled, "Cool it will ya! I'm coming!" as he made his way through the lobby. He swung the door open, ready to kill the very man who dared interrupt his slumber. A pale looking man held out a clipboard and stammered, "Package for Mr. Niccals." Murdoc ignored the numerous bites and the fact that he was bleeding in various places and mumbled, "Yeah, yeah." He would probably be either dead or a zombie tomorrow anyways, so why bother trying to help him?

Murdoc pulled in the relatively large package and slammed the door in the postman's face before he could start bitching about the zombies.

"Faceache! Lard! Get you arse's down here!" he screamed. He knew this was their fault, somehow. Russel probably ordered some weird fruit only found in Pakistan or 2D got, say, a high tech triple screen video game set or some retarded shit like that.

2D and Russel soon entered the lobby and stared at the crate. "What is it?" 2D asked in his very high pitched voice. "Its a crate dumbarse." Murdoc spat. 2D sighed, knowing it was fruitless to argue. He became slightly more curious about the package and bent down to read the label. There was no sign onto where it was from or who exactly sent it, but he did notice that there were holes on the sides of the crate.

2D pressed his eye up to see into the holes, but it was too dark in the crate to see. Russel pulled a crowbar from his pocket (huge pocket) and tugged on the lid. It finally came off after Russel pulled in various positions with anime sweatdrops on the back of his head. Russel brushed the sweatdrops away in frustration and said, "I hate those things!"

Out of the box jumped a small Japanese person. "NOODLE! Nooooo-dle Noodle noodle noodle!" she said. Murdoc was the first to notice there was a guitar strapped to her back, he gave an evil grin to nobody in particular. 2D asked, "Huh? What kind of Pokemon is that?" he pulled out his red Pokemon-book-video game-thing and it said, "Noodle. A musician-type Pokemon. Skills in guitar and singing...Not really a Pokemon but might as well be." it bleeped.

Russel squealed and spun around in a circle, as a bunch of anime flowers with smiley faces falling around him with a pink background, "Awww! She's so cute and adorable and I just want to squeaze her and- WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE!" he turned around and yelled at the flowers. They frowned and left.

"I'm gonna catch it!" 2D exclaimed as he pulled out a Pokeball. "Where do you get this shit?" Murdoc asked. 2D shrugged and yelled out, "GO, POKEBALL!" he threw the Pokeball and it bonked off Noodle's head. Noodle smiled at the trio and continued repeating 'noodle' to herself. Murdoc reached over and hit 2D, "She's not a damn Pokemon you idiot!" 2d rubbed the back of his head and mumbled an "Oh. Well she's still adorable." he bent down to her height and ruffled her hair. "Your my new best friend! I'll train you to become an amateur fighter and then force you to almost kill yourself in battle with other Pokemon so I can win a cool button!"

"She's not a Pokemon." Murdoc said. Noodle giggled nonetheless. Her eyes widened when they met 2D's. She gasped very loudly and reached over to touch him. "Ow!" 2D stood straight up and clutched his eye. "She just jabbed her finger into my eye!"

Russel giggled very girlishly and squealed, "Aww! She likes you!" he picked up Noodle and spun her around. Now they were both giggling girlishly.

Russel handed Noodle back to 2D, as he became tired fast for being so fat.

Noodle began combing 2D's hair with her fingers. At first was mumbling in Japanese about how soft and blue it was, but as she combed through it more the mumbling started becoming about how this weirdo should brush his hair more.

"I'm...2D...and this..." he spoke slowly, "Is Russel...and that," he pointed to Murdoc, "is Murdoc." Murdoc growled, "Why are you talking like that?" 2D held his hands over Noodle's ears and explained, "Pokemon have a hard time understanding English."

"For the last time! SHE IS NOT A DAMN POKEMON!" Murdoc screamed. Even through 2D's thin hands pressed to her ears, Noodle heard the yelling and became frighted. She began to cry, the tears coming out in more of rivers that went up off her face, then down like a waterfall, falling next to her feet.

"Wow, this is a really weak Pokemon." Russel mumbled, then petted Noodle's head. Murdoc sighed. "Look, you know what she is right? Is it not obvious?" he asked.

"No. What is she?" 2D asked flattly. Not really caring or listening to the bassist, both Russel and 2D were petting, cooing, and overall spoiling Noodle, like she was some kind of puppy or something. She was just that cute.

"She's our new bloody guitarist!" Murdoc yelled in frustration. Russel and 2D stepped back and took a closer look at Noodle. Then, they saw the guitar strapped to her back. Their eyes disappeared and some red vertical lines formed on the back of their heads, clearly showing they were very embarrassed.

"...Oh." the pair said in unison. Noodle giggled and jumped into 2D's arms. "Noodle!" she squealed.

"And so continues a rather stupid chapter of a story that's not really going anywhere. Tune in next time to see 2D, Russel, Murdoc, and Noodle in their next journey, Noodle get's her period!"

TO BE CONTINUED...

(not really.)

* * *

**Ok well, that passed the time...I'm going to sleep now...**

**BYE. **


	2. Snooty Brat

**Okay due to reviews to this retarded story I WILL CONTINUE IT. Its just basically going to be one of those things that isn't going to really have a plot. **

**NOTICE: NONE OF THE CHAPTERS ARE GOING TO BE CONNECTED! So Pokemon was basically a story by itself!**

It was that day again. Picture day. The day Stuart dreaded so much, ever since he was 10. He was 17, the year was 1992. Stu's mother always fussed over picture day, who wouldn't? But Rachel Pot fussed over...different reasons.

"Mum, really, it's alwright." Stu complained the morning of the picture day.

"Oh, are you sure?" Rachel asked. "I heard they got a new photographer." Rachel placed a plate of eggs in front of the boy as he quickly finished his homework. "Then I guess that this will be funner than I thought!" Stuart replied as he gave a laugh. Rachel giggled at his grammar, "Funner's not a word, Stu."

Stuart's father, David walking in and tiredly slumped himself into a chair next to his son. "I heard it was picture day." he said as he stole a bite of Stuart's eggs.

"Yes, and they got a new photographer." Rachel said as she handed her husband a cup of coffee. "Yeah I heard that too, I think I heard he was french to."

"Oh no, Stu maybe you could wear a hat?" Rachel asked him. "No mum, I wore a hat last year. Besides I have plans for this french guy." Rachel sighed as she thought of yet another call from the princable, another year when other mom's asked for her son's picture, and then they would scream or gasp. It would make it seem like it was her fault when something was wrong with her son. But Stuart seemed proud of his hair so they couldn't dye it.

Stuart shoved his homework into his bag, which his father noticed was a bit bigger than usual. "Wot's in your pack?" he asked.

"Hmmm? Oh...uh...pencils?" He said. David took a long look at Stu.

"Well its nice to know your prepared!" he said proudly. Stuart smiled and left for school.

Stuart sat in cafeteria with about half of the rest of his grade as he waited for his turn. His backpack sat at his feet, and for once, he was excited for his picture. A cute girl sat across from him, but Stuart wasn't flirting with her, actually they were best friends. Her name was Madonna Britney Spears Lohan Smith. Her parents were crazy. "So what do I do again?" she asked.

"Just bitch like I toldja." he reassured her.

"STUART POT!" the principle called on the intercom. "Get on the stage!" The stage in front of the cafeteria was where the photographer had set up. Stu and Madonna stood up and fixed their hair. Madonna grabbed the backpack and opened it up, she pulled out a purse for herself and a handful of 'bling' for Stu. Stuart put on a fancy jacket over his stained, holed, polo shirt. He slipped on a pair of sunglasses and smiled at Madonna as she clipped in fake pink highlights and chewed some bubblegum.

"Ready?" he said. Madonna puckered her lips and slipped on some pink sunglasses. She looked like a total bitch, and Stu looked like a rich self-absorbed brat. Perfect.

"Okay." Madonna said. "STUART! GET TO THE STAGE RIGHT NOW!" the bitchy principle yelled from the office. The whole school turned and laughed at him, but he put on his best "I'm better than you." face and walked up the steps to the stage.

Stuart dramatically threw back the dark red curtains and exclaimed, "IM READY FOR MY CLOSE UP!"

Everyone's heads turned to him, some gasped, some sighed. The photographer was wearing a stylish outfit. Black slacks with a black polo long sleeve with a white vest over it. He had slicked brown hair and blue eyes, which you could tell were contacts. He turned to 2D and jumped with a yelp.

"What are you!" he exclaimed in a french accent.

"You don't know who I am?" he said in a fake appellation. "I am Stuart Hoolio Cannedpeas Churros Mexican Smoking Pot!"

"Wow that's quite a lot of middle names, Mr. Pot." the photographer regarded. "But I don't seem to recognize you."

"Well of course you don't! Your _french!_" he said snootily.

"But if you must know, Mr. Pot, I have more middle names than you. My full name is: Cooper Danny Croissants Frenchie Talky Picture Clicky Alejandro Lasagna!"

"Bah! Mr. Lasagna, I think that we both know my name is much cooler than yours!" Stu exclaimed. "Really, you should meet my friend, Madonna darling! Come, come!" he called. "You just have to meet her she is a-door-able!" Stuart sang.

Madonna stepped in throwing the curtain back like Stu did. She looked around in disgust and popped her bubble gum. She caught sight of Stuart and threw her arms up into the air and smiled brightly. "Stu! Darling! You look fabulous! Are you getting your photo shoot done?" Madonna asked.

"Well I _was_ when this man here, Mr. _Lasagna_, what holding up the whole shoot!" Stu held Madonna's hands out in front of him.

"How dare he! Let me see this man! Where is he? I bet he's hideous!" Madonna looked around with her hand along her forehead while looking right at Mr. Lasagna.

"Excuse me, Miss. I'm right here, if you don't mind." he gently raised his hand.

"Wow you look _fabulous! _Where did you get that makeup?" She asked.

"Which makeup? The pink eyeshadow? The red lipstick? The vampire teeth? My nose is a goo made from dog shit you know. And my cheeks are diamond encrusted!" Mr. Lasagna turned around and pulled down his pants to reveal his diamond encrusted ass. Both Madonna and Stuart where disgusted but tried to play it off as normal.

"Wow that looks beautiful! Does it hurt? I'm thinking about getting it done..." Madonna said in her best "I'm truly amazed" voice.

"Oh yeah it hurt." he said as he pulled up his slacks. "Well, Mr. Pot, lets get this picture done. Sit on that chair."

"Don't tell me what to do! I tell _myself _what to do!" Stu exclaimed. "And I say that camera is _stupid_!"

"But sir, its a professional camera! That's as expensive as they get!"

"Throw it away!" He yelled.

"But sir-"

"I said throw it away!" he demanded.

"Yes sir!" Mr. Lasagna said as he carefully removed the camera from it's stand and dropped it into the wastebasket with a yelp. "So what do I take your picture with?" he asked. Stu reached into his backpack and pulled out a disposable camera. "This!"

Mr. Lasagna took the disposable camera with a sigh and placed it on his stand. "Sit in the chair Stu."

Stuart walked over to the cafeteria chair, stared at it in disgust, and kicked it off the stage. "You expect me to _sit_ on that filthy thing? I shall stand! And don't you dare tell me how to pose!" Stu yelled.

"Whatever." Mr. Lasagna mumbled and steadied the camera. Stuart posed in many ways, acting like a model on the runway. Mr. Lasagna took 5 more pictures than he needed, but at last, they were done.

Stuart and Madonna bid the man adieu and stepped off the stage with dignity.

_**3 Months Later**_

Madonna and Stuart were in his room, bent over their newly acquired yearbook. They flipped though the pages and found Stu. Mr. Lasagna has used the 'Highschool Musical Jump' pose Stu had done. Where he jumped up into the air and posed like a highschool musical character. Under the picture read his 'full name' and something about him. Usually it would say a club you were in or if you were on the honor roll, under Stu's name it read: _"Snooty Brat" _

**Well it's been a while. I will update this again maybe tomorrow because I'm sick and I'll probably update Highway Under Construction again tomorrow also. Why don't you go along and review? **


	3. Apple

**Ahh this is nice. Getting up at noon on a monday, eating hot cheetos for breakfast, and not doing my science fair project. (its due tomorrow) I like being sick. Most of the time. And you should to. After all, I am updating. Let's read the story now, shall we?**

Noodle was asleep on a towel that covered the rotting plastic when she heard the beast. It's whine was so horrible, it sounded like that whale 2D kept complaining about but when she looked was never there. She pulled off her sunglasses and looked around in fear. Then she heard it again, this time closer and much louder. Or maybe that was because it was right in her ear.

"Please don't eat me!" She screamed and covered her face with her hands. "Mewp?" she heard something squeak. She felt something jump onto her shoulder, Noodle looked up to see a little purple fuzzy creature with a bit of plastic in its mouth. The purple fuzzy creature chewed and eventually swallowed the plastic, then it cleaned itself by rubbing its head against Noodle's neck.

Noodle stared at the creature in awe as it fell asleep on her shoulder. "...Awwwww! That is so CUTE!" she squealed and picked it up. It fit right into the palms of her hands, it opened it's eyes and blinked at Noodle a few times, then curled back up and fell asleep once more.

"I have to show 2D this!" she said and ran off to the entrance. "The lift, the lift boss!" Tattoo greeted her. "Shudup Tattoo!" she said as she took herself to 2D's room.

Noodle found 2D asleep on his bed, his covers were above his head and he was curled up in a ball, slightly shaking in his sleep. Noodle laughed, the whale had scared himself to sleep. "2D! 2D look!" she yelled and shook him off the bed with a thump. 2D whined and rubbed the back of his head. "What?"

"Look what I found by the water!" Noodle said and pushed the purple creature into 2D's face. The creatures tiny purple feet emerged and it stood on 2D's face, it then tilted its head like a puppy and said, "Mewp?" 2D stared at the creature that was now nibbling on its nose. It found the bottle cap 2D had shoved up his nose and pulled it out, then the purple creature gulped it down without hesitation.

Swallowing that bottle cap was the most adorable thing to 2D.

"AWWWWW!" 2D picked up the purple creature and held it in his palms, he gave it an Eskimo kiss and it gently tugged on his stubble on his upper lip. "It's so cute!"

"So can we keep it?" Noodle asked earnestly. "Yeah!" 2D said and handed it back to Noodle. "Just don't let Murdoc find out."

"So what should we name it?" Noodle asked as she rummaged around 2D's room for something for the creature to sleep on. She came across a pair of 2D's boxers and thought it would be perfect, so she placed them in a box on his floor then gently threw the fuzzy creature into the box.

"Let's name it PurpleBerry." 2D stated. Noodle looked at the creature and thought over the name.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I always wanted to go into the amazon and find a new fruit and call it a purpleberry...even if it wasn't purple." he said. Noodle petted the creature and thought over the name some more, then decided it just wasn't right for the fuzzy-purple-plastic eating-creature.

"I know! Let's name it Apple!" she squealed and picked up the creature, spinning it around until she got dizzy. She placed it on the floor where it wobbled until it eventually fell.

"Yeah!" 2D squealed and he and Noodle joined hands and jumped around in a circle around their new pet.

"Okay Apple, sit!" 2D commanded the pet. Apple cocked its head, understanding but not really knowing how because it didn't have a bottom, just legs. So what it did was suck its legs back into its body just like Noodle had found it. "That's...weird." Noodle said.

"MEWP!" Apple whined. It rolled around on it's side and repeated over and over, "MEWP MEWP MEWP MEWP MEWP!" it started getting so annoying 2D had to tie it's mouth shut with an electrical cord he found on his floor.

"No!" He pointed sternly at Apple. "Bad Apple! Bad!" Apple stared up at 2D and tears started to form in its eyes, it poked its tummy with its nose and whined behind the electrical cord. "I think it's hungry." 2D said. Noodle picked it up and held Apple's stomach to her ear. Soon she heard a soft growl from the creatures middle.

"Aww your hungry aren't you? Yes you are! Yes you are!" Noodle giggled. "Let's get you some food!" Noodle held Apple carefully as she and 2D entered the lift and pushed the button marked kitchen that replaced the garden patio when Russel thought it was useless. They must have opened every cupboard pushing every item of food to Apple's face, but it just refused. Even rum. Apple would simply sniff the food and then whine and knock the food out of 2D or Noodle's hands. It started to get very tedious especially when they started tripping over food on the ground.

"Hey! What about this?" 2D held a bright red apple to Apple's face. Apple sniffed it, studied it, nibbled it. Noodle and 2D were excited by this reaction, and set both Apple's onto the table.

They were very disappointed when Apple climbed onto the Apple and fell asleep on it.

"What's with that thing and sleeping?" Noodle asked.

"I don't know." 2D said. He poked the sleeping Apple. "It's like Apple's sitting on an egg!" he squealed. Noodle gently picked up the apple that Apple was sitting on and carried them both without removing Apple. "Now what?" she asked.

"I don't know. Maybe we can-" "WHAT IS THAT!" they turned around abruptly to find a steaming Murdoc. Literally, he had steamed broccoli on his head.

"It an apple. And that's steamed broccoli." 2D pointed to the broccoli on Murdoc's head. "Never mind that! What's _that!_" he pointed to the Apple's in Noodle's hands.

"I told you. It's and apple." 2D said.

"Next to the apple." Murdoc demanded. "...That's an apple too." Noodle said.

"No. It's not. It's a purple plastic people eater. Where in hell did you find it?" Murdoc asked.

"Oh...it eats plastic? No wonder!" Noodle said.

"Yeah. And it also eats PEOPLE." Murdoc said. "Just look at it's chompers!" Murdoc stole Apple from Noodle's hands and opened it's mouth to reveal extremely sharp and pointy teeth.

"Woah..." 2D exclaimed and gently touched Apple's teeth.

"You can't keep it." Murdoc said sternly. "It'll eat you alive."

"Aww no it won't! How could it possibly-" Noodle started. Then, Apple yawned. Murdoc said, "Look." Murdoc grabbed 2D's finger and pushed it into Apple's mouth. Apple finished yawning and closed it's mouth, finally tasting the flesh.

It's eyes opened, they glowed a bright red. It growled and bit down hard. 2D yelped and flung it around from his finger until it let go and hit the wall.

"Owww..." 2D whined and rubbed his finger. He wiped the blood off with a paper towel and put on a Teen Titans bandaid.

"So what are we going to do with it then?" Noodle asked. Murdoc rubbed his chin like and old man and gave a dramatic, "HMMMMM!"

"...we could give it to the boogieman." 2D thought aloud. It was like one of those moments on T.V where somebody had a good idea. The camera would zoom out, then it would start a montage.

"YAY! MONTAGE!" Russel squealed when he saw the montage begin.

The plan was simple. Go to the pier. Put Apple onto the pier. Leave.

It worked.

The band was watching from afar as the boogieman crept up to Apple. Apple jumped out of it's wooden crate and screamed like one of those zombies on Dawn of the Dead. They attacked each other, biting and eating and sucking each others brains out.

"Aww. That's sweet!" Murdoc said. "Now can we go?" He turned around to find both Noodle and 2D crying their eyes out, holding onto each other like they had just watched an episode of icarly.

"Look you brats, I'll get you some ice cream if you just calm down and forget about that stupid creature."

"...with sprinkles?" 2D sniffed.

"No."

"...okay." they said.

**Well I may not get a chapter of Highway Under Construction out tonight. I'm eating Pita chips, if you care. Review? Or Apple will eat you!**


	4. Not sure what this is really about

**Jeez its been so long...I've been having a writers block okay? For everything. Even this, which is so easy to write I usually just type it in 30 minutes. But whatever. Well how's ur christmas been? Mine was good, thank you. I liked The Fall. Did you? I especially like how Damon wrote 3 songs about Texas. :) but alas, none were about Austin. Did you see the new Evangelist? I like it, I was afraid if it was a girl fanfiction would be flooded with pairings with 2D or Murdoc and the Evangelist. Im not sure if its a boy or a flat-chested girl, but I like it. :) Story time now! **

**P.S- You won't get this unless your a fan of blur. :) But I'm assuming you all are. **

_INTRO: You remember how Damon said that Jamie and him thought of Gorillaz while making fun of MTV? Well he was lying, this is how it happened, Murdoc told me so. _

Damon, Graham, and Murdoc were sitting in Damon's flat. Smoking fags, watching cartoons, and just zoning out every once in a while. As you know, Graham has obsessions, you also probably know they last 6-8 months. **(AN: I'm not making this up.) **Right now it was Spongebob Squarepants. Murdoc and Damon had gotten so annoyed with it in the last couple of months. "Can we _please _turn it back to Spongebob now? _PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?_" Graham would whine whenever they changed the channel. Murdoc would slap him and tell him he was gay. Damon would change it to the Fairly Odd Parents just to annoy Graham. "What? This isn't Spongebob? Well I like it better." Damon would smile and then sit on the remote.

Graham never once thought to walk up to the T.V and change it himself, oh cruel modern world...

One day Damon was making a sandwich and singing while Graham was watching Spongebob, Murdoc wasn't really doing anything, but he heard the tune and caught onto it.

_Caravan's lost  
In the sun and the dust  
No-one loves you  
When you are lost  
Here I'm a clown  
Pulling my world down  
I believe I was strong  
But you are the one  
And when it comes, you'll feel the weight of it,  
The weight of it  
The day will come when you'll get away from it,  
Away from it_

_Sometimes everything is easy  
Sometimes everything is easy  
La la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la la  
La la la la la la la _

He repeated the chorus so much, but in a happier way then the original song. Damon used the ketchup bottle as a microphone and sang with his eyes closed and his fist up. He twirled in circles and spilled every open bottle of eatable and non-eatable substance in the kitchen.

"Eh! Don't you go knocking over everything! Who's going to clean that up? Me? Certainly not!" Damon stopped twirling like a ballerina and pouted. "What were you just singing anyways?" Murdoc asked.

"A song." Damon said.

"What's that song called?"

"I don't know."

"Will you be using it?"

"In what?"

"In blur dumbarse!"

"Oh. I don't know."

"Is that song _done _yet?" Murdoc was getting frustrated.

"I don't think so."

"Hey! Damon!" Graham yelled, even thought the kitchen was just a few steppes away. "Can I have a samitch too?"

"Okay." Damon said. Graham clapped his hands and thew them up into the air, "Thank you!"

"What do you want on it?" Damon asked.

"Um...do we have mustard?" Murdoc watched, about to piss his pants in fury...if that was possible.

"Ew. I hate mustard." Damon looked around the kitchen, finding the mustard on the floor, all spilled out and yucky looking. Damon smiled, picking up the mustard and replying, "Yeah, we have mustard. I found it."

"Okay...Do we have mayo?" Graham asked.

"No." Damon said and thought to himself, _"When have I ever bought mayo?"_

"Yeah we do! FIND IT!"

"...okay." Damon searched around for the mayo, which we was positive they _didn't _have.

"Okay, so about that song...what were you planning to do with it?" Murdoc asked, brushing spilled pickles off his face.

"I don't know, why?"

"Because." Murdoc said and huffed...like the big bad wolf did. Then he _puffed_ a smoke.

_AND THEN HE BLEW THE WHOLE APARTMENT BUILDING DOWN! YAY!_

….. "I found the mayo!" Damon said. "It was under the bed." Damon brought the mayo back to the kitchen and finished making the sandwich. He then returned to the couch and watched Spongebob with Graham.

"Samitch!" Graham said to himself happily as Damon handed the sandwich to him. He opened it up and made sure everything was there, "Hey! You put mayo on this!"

"Isn't that what you asked?" Damon asked.

"Just because I wanted mayo doesn't mean I would want it on my samitch! That's gross!"

"...So what were you planning to do with it then?"

"Well, I have to have _something_ to drink right?" Graham exclaimed.

"But you have a beer right next to you!"

"It's not cold anymore!"

"Your so difficult!"

"STOP!" Murdoc screamed. The two men stopped fighting and looked at Murdoc. "You two are _SO _annoying!" Damon and Graham sat in silence as they watched Murdoc's face go from a tomato-red, to a clementine-orange, then a greenbean-green, then a onion-yellow, then a salad-mix-color.

It confused the two men greatly.

"Damon. Is that song important to you?" He finally asked after his face stopped changing colors so much.

"...sorta. Why?" Damon said.

"Can I use it?" Murdoc insisted.

"No."

"WHY NOT?"

"Get your own band!" Damon yelled.

_And so he did. _

**Oh that was so weird. I strayed off topic soooo much. I don't know why I started talking about sandwiches, maybe I'm hungry. Which is weird because its 10:30 at night. I _know _Caravan didn't come out till 2009 in Think Tank, put this is just for laughs, remember? I can do _Whatever. I. Want. _See you whenever! **


	5. Storytime for Noodle

**I had this idea a few minutes ago, and I wanted to write it before I forgot about it. I haven't done my homework yet, but it's too hard and I spent the whole day at school drawing little flip book things (like what artists use to animate). So this chapter is based in _PHASE 1, _I hope you like it!**

2D smiled as a tank exploded, killing over 100 zombies. He thought to himself how good the effects were in this movie and smoked his fag. He leaned into the old couch and drifted off slightly, the glow of the T.V relaxing him.

He was awoken from sweet dreams of beautiful girls and bottles of sunshine lotion inside plastic bags to the little girl called Noodle. "Um, 2D?" She asked just above a whisper. "I can't sleep. Can you tell me a story?" Noodle stood there holding her blanket that Russel had gotten her, wrapping it tightly around herself.

"Sure luv. But I don't know any stories to tell. And I might get in trouble with Russ again..." 2D said. Noodle smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him back to the child's room. "That's ok, make one up!" 2D smiled at her enthusiasm and replied, "Ok then."

"Once upon a time..." he started, then he couldn't find anymore words. He had been told stories before, but he never remembered any of them. 2D figured he would just wing it. "There was a little...princess. Named...Sharol." He rubbed Noodle's head and she giggled. "That princess was _baaaadd._ She was a liar, always lying to her rich daddy. One day the king said, "ENOUGH" and grounded her. Sharol sat on the marble floors of her castle and whined, saying she didn't want to be grounded, then she ran away to join the circus."

Noodle smiled at this story, already enjoying it. She lay back into her pillows and brought the covers closer. "Sharol ended up quitting the circus because she thought she didn't like the costumes. She thought their were clothes that could do more for her figure. So...she became a stripper instead, and loved it a lot more." 2D smiled at how good he was at making up stories.

"One day at the stripper club, Sharol had noticed a handsome looking man was watching her closer than all of the other men, he even touched her boob!" Noodle gasped, then giggled. "I know right?" 2D said, then continued. "Sharol decided to find out just who this man was, and followed him out of the club. She snuck around like a spy, but she started shivering because she forgot to change out of her stripper uniform. The man knew she was right behind him, and he also knew that she was the spoiled-brat princess Paula! I-I mean Sharol..." Noodle's eyes questioned but she soon forgot and listened for the rest of the story.

"So he decided to ignore her because he knew she was a bitch. And you know what we say about bitches, right Noodle?" Noodle giggled and nodded, "Bitches are stupid-ugly-dumbfuck-whores who take your purse!"

"That's right Noods! And the man didn't want Sharol taking his purse." 2D said.

"Is the man gay?" Noodle asked.

"No."

"Then why does he have a purse?" She asked. 2D stopped to rethink for a second, "I don't know, love. Maybe he is gay!" Noodle laughed and sank into her bed.

"So, when Sharol noticed the man was _running for his life_ she panicked and thought maybe their was a monster following them, but it was just her. So she ran as fast as you could in stiletto heels and ran after the man thinking that he knew a place to hide. Then she started calling for him to stop, and he did. But only because he ran into a building." 2D explained.

"Oh, so the man's gay _and _stupid?" Noodle asked. "Yup!" 2D smiled. Noodle rolled onto her stomach and laughed into her pillow, so Russel wouldn't hear her. If he knew 2D was telling her another story 2D would be in a lot of trouble. He could just hear him saying, "2D! Stop filling my baby-girl's head with those _horrible_ stories!" then he would ask to see 2D in the carpark and she would always see 2D the next evening with huge blue marks.

"So Sharol ran to the man's side and helped him up, then she noticed the guy was unconscious. "Oh no!" She screamed. Then she took him back to her apartment to give him...a bath."

"A bath?" Noodle asked.

"Yeah." 2D said. "Ok." Noodle replied.

"Later, at Sharol's apartment. The man woke up stark naked in her bathtub. He was alone, thankfully. He stood out of the freezing cold water and put his clothes back on. Then, he left the bathroom and tried to find that horrible lady who was stalking him. The man found her on the woman's couch, smoking. "Princess Sharol? What the fuck!" he screamed. "Hi!" Sharol waved annoyingly and ran up to the man. "What's your name?" she asked. "My name is Juan." he said. Sharol giggled and mocked him, making her voice all gruff. "_My name is whu-an!_" She exaggerated the silent J." Noodle giggled and 2D smiled at her reaction.

"The man bitch slapped that bitch like he was a fucking pimp dawg! Then he was all, "Don't you be messin' up my name, bitch!" and Sharol was all, "I thought you were Mexican!" That made Juan really angry and he bitch slapped her again. Then Sharol got mad and they had a bitch slap fight. Which Sharol won because Juan was a pussy. Then Sharol tied him up, with some rope." 2D said.

"Why did she tie him up?" Noodle asked.

"Because." 2D said.

"Oh."

"So, Sharol duct-taped his mouth and threw him into a closet. Then she went to her job as a stripper (as you know). But Sharol had come back with a new guy and had forgotten about Juan, and he died. The end." 2D smiled and stood up, getting ready to leave and just wanting to get back to his movie. "G'night love!"

"Wait!" Noodle called as he left. 2D stopped and turned around, "Yes?"

"What about happily ever after?" Noodle pleaded. Shit. He forgot, Noodle _always _wanted her happily ever after, or she wouldn't sleep, she would sit and cry about how the girl probably would die alone and never find a man and have to live as a stripper until she was 50 and gross looking. Then Russel would hear and get really mad.

"Ok, rewind. Sharol felt sorry about Juan so after working at the strip club she untied him and decided to just keep him as a house pet for the rest of his life, and the all lived-"

"HAPPILY EVER AFTER! YAY!" Noodle laughed and threw her hands up into the air.

"Yeah. See you in the morning, love. Remember the rule about bedtime stories?" he asked.

"Don't get 2D in trouble!" Noodle waved her finger around and smiled. "Yup. Good night!"

Noodle fell back into her pillow as he left, slowly falling into sweet dreams about whores and strip clubs and being a rock star. Someday, she wanted to be _just like_ Sharol.

END.

**I feel bad, for Noodle. Sorry! GUESS WHAT? We got snow in Texas! OMG it was the first time ever I had seen snow and it was all flaky and puffy and cold and like powered until it melted then I didn't like it. And it made all the water freeze and me and Gabby and Michelle and Morgan hit her pond with a chizzle and broke it up into big pieces then we threw them up into the air and the exploded onto the ground AND SNOW IS SO MUCH FUN! It make me feel really pathetic that I'm like 13 and never seen that much snow before, it was only 2 inches. I feel jealous of you people up North. And even some up there in Dallas where they get snow in the winter, but in our hick of a town when somebody predicts rain or snow or ice or anything having to do with water, we have so much bad luck that it doesn't ever happen. Seriously we had a drought for 10 years then like last year it rained one day and me and my sister went outside and were like, "WOAH RAIN!" Anyways... review!**


	6. Easter on Plastic Beach

**Hey guys guess what I'm going to update stories. **

"Yes I need about 40 prostitutes delivered to my door by the end of this hour or I'll scream into this phone so loud the phone will break then you will have to pay money to fix it." Murdoc growled into his cell phone. Today it was Easter, so Murdoc did what he did every year: hired a lot of prostitutes to dress up as bunnies and do his bidding. They couldn't speak, couldn't complain, they couldn't even have sex with him unless Murdoc was absolutely horny. Because rabbits didn't speak or complain or have sex with human beings. And that's what Murdoc wanted: Rabbits.

When Murdoc was little he secretly always wanted a million little bunnies of his own to do whatever he pleased, and he would never run out because rabbits were basically huge white furry sluts. Of course his dad said no. He didn't want all that rabbit crap on his floor. But now that Murdoc was a billionaire he could do whatever he wanted and if he wanted to dress sluts up as rabbits and make them do his bidding what would anybody do to stop him.

It was this reason that 2D hated Easter. For 3 specific reasons, actually. Number 1: Murdoc made the girls dressed as rabbits come in and gnaw on his bed sheets, his clothes. Everything. Number 2: Murdoc commanded these bunny impersonators to bother him. And it wasn't very sexy, as you would think from them being prostitutes. Because they actually hopped around like actual bunnies. At one time 2D thought to strike up a conversation with one of them, but they were rabbits for the day and rabbits don't speak. Number 3: Ever since 2D had lived in Kong he had a special carrot farmed that he harvested around Easter time. The mysterious woman he bought the carrot seeds from said they had 'magical powers' but 2D just liked the taste. Soon though Murdoc found out about these carrots so when Easter rolled around he would command them to find his special carrots and eat them all. "As real rabbits do." Murdoc would say.

This Easter was different though. 2D had just released The Fall and it was doing well, the rabbits weren't bothering him all too much so he suspected that because of doing so well with The Fall Murdoc was giving him so slack for once. 2D chewed his special carrots and watched his zombie films in peace.

"Eh! You!" Murdoc snarled and pointed to one slut. She quit sniffing the cabinets and drew all her attention to Murdoc, just as a real rabbit would do. "Fetch me some rum, would you?" Murdoc knew rabbits couldn't really get him rum. But they couldn't talk either so the girls couldn't complain. They had to get him the rum or else no pay.

Suddenly, the whole beach started to rumble. Murdoc growled, "Finally." The ceiling crashed as a huge arm burst through. The arm retracted to reveal a familiar face. "Mudz!" Russel yelled. "It's _not _ok to have sluts prance around all day pretending to be bunnies! You know it scares 2D!"

"Well it's about time you got here you fat lard! And I thought maybe with you swimming here you would be a bit thinner! But_ noooo_ you had to get so big you break my mansion!" He ignored Russel's last comment. Murdoc knew Russel had been coming for weeks now. He watched him on the horizon, but as he guessed, Russel was just too fat to get here quick enough for the release of their new album. But that didn't bother Murdoc, he didn't even help with The Fall, and 2D specifically wanted this album to be his very own. He probably wouldn't let Russel or Noodle help anyways. Speaking of... "Hey where's Noodle? I thought she was riding on your fat head." Murdoc asked.

"She knew it was Easter so she said something about putting on some new clothes and seeing 2D or some crap." Russel said.

"Well ok then. Want some beer?"

"Yeah man, I'm parched."

…

The only sound that could be heard from 2D's room was his donk machine. He loved it, it would amuse him for hours, which was nice because he was trapped here. And it scared off that horrible whale even for a little bit, it was nice to be able to look through his little porthole and not see a huge eye looking back at him. Judging him. Thinking about him. Undressing him with its eyes.

2D shuddered at what that whale would probably do to him if he wasn't in this room. He hadn't changed his clothes in weeks for this reason. Not until some online player closed his curtains. He always forgot.

He heard his elevator ding open and he cowered into the far corner of his bed. It was probably some of those prostitutes again. Looking for his special carrots no doubt. Well they couldn't have them. Those were his. He needed them, they were his only source of food. If he rationed them, he could eat them for weeks, until Murdoc would let him out long enough so he could sneak outside and harvest some more.

He heard the usual thumping that rabbits make coming down his walkway. 2D's eyes went wide and he curled up even more.

The bunny emerged but 2D noticed something different. It was wearing a mask, it made her look like a cat. 2D snickered a bit. Silly cat trying to be a bunny. The bunny hopped closer and 2D noticed her hair. It was short and purple, cut in a way that brought back so many good memories. Then some bad ones. This girl looked to much like his little love, he hoped it was actually her but of course it wasn't. She was missing. Dead probably. And if she wasn't, she was what, 20 now? 2D thought she would have grown out of that haircut by now.

He wished he could pull off that silly mask. For one cats and bunnies were two very different creatures. And two he really wanted to prove that girl _wasn't _his little love.

"Um, hello." 2D gave a small wave. Then he mentally slapped himself, she wouldn't say anything back. Bunnies don't do that.

The girl hopped along until she was sitting right in front of his bed. She began sniffing and soon 2D knew: _she was going to steal his carrots. _2D tried to remember where he hid them for Easter yesterday, but he couldn't think of anywhere. The girl reached under his bed, then her entire upper body followed. 2D then heard crunching. _She found them. _

2D frantically jumped from his bed and took hold of the girls legs. He pulled her from under his bed to find she had the entire stash in her arms. 2D reached for her mask, but she slapped his arm away. "Stop eatin' my magic carrots!" he yelled.

Suddenly a huge arm burst through his ceiling. 2D screamed and fell to the floor. Murdoc ran in pissed off as usual, but this time not at him. "Russ! Why do you have to go and break everything! These things cost money you know!" he screamed. 2D looked up in confusion, was that really Russel?

"Russ!" he smiled. "You're back! Can you tell Murdoc's rabbit-cat-thing here to stop eatin' my magic carrots?"

"That's not _mine _faceache!" Murdoc whacked 2D with a chunk of broken ceiling.

"Baby girl!" Russel yelled. "Stop this right now! This was fine when you were 10, but your an adult now! Give 2D back his magic c- Wait! Magic?"

"Yep. You can't have any. They're mine. Tell that cat that is pretending to be a bunny to give them back." 2D said.

"What cat?" Russel asked. "That one!" 2D pointed to the girl who was still eating his carrots.

"Oh! That's no cat 'D, that's Noods!" Russel laughed. 2D stood there astonished. He turned to his long lost friend. She handed the carrots back to him and pulled off her mask. There was a bruise running across her eye but she was still the same. 2D smiled and hugged her. They all had a big reunion moment that reminded him off all those fanfictions 2D read when he gets bored. They laughed, cried a bit, and then stormed off from each other when cyborg showed up.  
Cyborg did show up and of course Noodle stormed off. 2D didn't care. He would do the cliché thing later and kill the cyborg and win Noods back. Maybe in the sequel cyborg would come back and they would face even worse problems. But that didn't matter right now.

"So 2D, what makes those carrots magic?" Russel asked. He had also read those fanfictions and the past 5 minutes or so didn't really bother him.

"I don't know. I fed one to Big Rick once though and he lost like 200 pounds. So I declared them magic. How else do you think I stayed so thin and sexy all these years? Got to look good for the girls ya know? Anyways I thought they would help my eyes at first but they didn't but they have this real sweet taste to them so I kept eating them." 2D explained.

"Can I have one?" Russ asked. "Sure." 2D reached as high as he could to hand one to Russel. He picked it up with his ginormous thumb and forefinger. Russel dropped it into his mouth and swallowed it like a pill. Then right before their eyes 2D and Murdoc watched Russel shrink down to his normal size.

Murdoc began to leave, "Well that settles that. I'm getting a beer."

**Yes this is a day late as I was supposed to get it out on Easter. But it was a little hard to write some parts and I procrastinated. Review! **


	7. Interior Design Is A Serious Matter

**Alright well I've had sudden bursts of ideas for this story so you might be seeing about 4 updates in the next week or so. Which is probably cool with you right? I mean hey, new chapters. **

It was very hot that day when Jamie arrived at Plastic Beach. He almost forgot how hot it was. Jamie said goodbye to Damon and the sub drove away. Jamie climbed the rickety steps and said hello to Tattoo. He boarded the lift and was brought up to the Study. Murdoc was standing there in the old Mission 1 room, stroking his chin.

"'bout time you got here." he mumbled.

"Yeah well. Have you got any ideas yet? We need to get Mission 2 started up soon!" Jamie said.

"I think this room is ok. Hey I found some old milk powder laying 'round in the engine room. Could you take it to my secret lair?" Murdoc asked. Jamie nodded his head and walked down the never ending steps to drop off the milk powder. He met Murdoc back in the recording studio.

"What's that?" Jamie asked.

"It's a cool cactus I found for the online players! When they click on it it grows! You see?" Murdoc 'clicked' on the cactus and it grew an extra arm. Jamie laughed. What a waste of time, but any home to the Gorillaz had a lot of doo-dads like that. It didn't make sense, really. What if those pointless cactus' turned out to crash and caused problems to the website? Murdoc couldn't be bothered though. He didn't work on the website itself. Why should he? He made the music that got the website popular.

"Hey we should put up a bunch of pictures of the live band on that empty space right up there." Jamie said.

"Why? Who cares about that no-good bloody live band!" Murdoc laughed.

"The fans do! They go and pay money to see them! And when you _don't show up _they do a pretty good job of filling in for you!" Jamie argued. He laughed at his own inside joke. He and Damon locked their dressing room door every night before they went on. Murdoc and the rest of them weren't even supposed to play. And Damon had more energy then 2D and Murdoc did. He would jump around and entertain the fans. Unlike Murdoc who was just too badass to barely even perform. Noodle used to give the fans some joy, but with that cyborg? What kind of replacement is that?

"Shut your trap Jamie! No posters!" Murdoc yelled. Jamie gave it up and worked in silence. He tried to clean up a bit, but it was hopeless.

"The computer still doesn't have service." he muttered. Murdoc glanced over and set the drum down. "Oh yeah, I should probably call them in about that. But my phone doesn't get service either."

"So are you and that Damon fellow a couple?" Murdoc laughed. Jamie gasped and scowled.

"No! Are you and 2D a couple? Hmmm?" Jamie pestered.

"What the hell! Of course not! I'm not gay and if I was I wouldn't stoop as low as faceaches level!" Murdoc yelled.

"I don't know. He is the only one here..." Jamie said. Murdoc got up in his face, "Why don't you just step out and wait for your little boyfriend Damon to come pick you up? I can do this by myself."

"Fine." Jamie scoffed. He left the recording studio and stepped outside. He decided to sunbathe.

It was really hot. So Jamie stripped to just his shorts. Then it got hotter. So he stripped to just his boxers. He almost fell asleep until a postman showed up and stepped on him.

"Ow! What the hell dude watch where your going!" Jamie sat up.

"I'm sorry. Sexy underwear by the way." the postman said. Jamie blushed. "I have a package for Murdoc Niccals?" Then Jamie remembered how pissed he was at Murdoc. He smiled as he formed a plan.  
"He's not here right now. He's still touring. He'll be back around April-ish." It was January now, four months would make Murdoc so mad he'd swallow his balls.

"Oh, alright. I'll just leave a note then saying I will re-deliver it in April-ish then." the postman said. Jamie gave a kind smile, "That would be great. Goodbye!" He watched the postman leave then stood up and put the note on the door for Murdoc to find later. He smirked at how pissed Murdoc would probably be, Murdoc needed the package to start mission 2, and to open up that lighthouse, and the submarine! This would set Murdoc back at least 4 or 5 months, and there wasn't that much Murdoc could do on Plastic Beach but sit there and rot.

Jamie went back inside to see most of the changes were done, except he noticed he had failed to add a kitchen, again. When Murdoc had built Plastic Beach he had also noticed it, and told him to fix it next time. Jamie had guessed he would forget again but it was still pretty funny.

Murdoc walked out of the recording studio feeling proud. "You see Jamie? I can do perfectly fine without you." he teased.

"Oh yeah?" Jamie smirked. "You forgot the kitchen again." Murdoc's eyes widened and he growled, pacing the floor while tugging at his hair. "Not again." he mumbled.

"That's alright. You can wait until mission 3!" Jamie smiled.

"Oh yeah! I'll just wait about a week until I close it down again and redecorate it! I'll open up mission 2 in a couple of days anyway. I can go without a kitchen that long." Murdoc said.

"Right." Jamie plopped himself down on the couch and sorted through the movies. Damon walked though the elevator and admired his and Murdoc's work.

"Nice guys! Should be great for the kids online! Oh, Murdoc the postman came." Damon handed Murdoc the note and sat down on Jamie's lap to watch movies with him.

"Great! Finally I get my keys!" Murdoc said. He read the note and became angry again.

"What! _April-ish? _What the hells an APRIL-ISH?" Murdoc screamed. Jamie laughed at him. Damon got up and figured it was time to go. Jamie followed and couldn't wait to tell Damon what he had done.

"Good-bye Murdoc!" they called and entered the elevator.

Before it closed Damon said to him, "Oh Murdoc! You forgot to install a kitchen again!" They laughed as Murdoc became enraged again. They got into the sub and Jamie told him that it was his doings. Damon grinned. "Jamie you bastard."

**Yeah, it's pretty short for how long it took me to finally get it done. You should all be proud, I had to do legit studying for this. I had to go all the way into PB again and find out what exactly they changed. Hard work if you asked me. I think it was worth it though, review!**


End file.
